(Welcome back by popular demand our friend and guest writer Kristi)

Disclaimer: the following account of my weekend of gluttony at Yankee Stadium is a true and accurate description of the events that transpired.  This is my story (cue Law & Order music).

Saturday – Yankees v. Indians (4-22 loss):
My friend Keith and I started Saturday at the bowling alley across from the old stadium with a couple of bud lights.  We wanted to show some respect to our old favorites (Stan’s was too packed to handle), and start our day with $4 beers since the average beer at the stadium is $9.  When we finally entered the Great Hall and walked through to the concessions, Keith began salivating over the garlic fries immediately.  You can smell them as soon as you walk in.  But we went straight to our seats because we wanted to catch the first pitch.  We started our culinary adventure in the top of the second inning with the Baseball Classic – a Nathan’s hotdog and a beer (Bud Light).  The days of the “dirty water dog” appear to be as over as Chien-Ming Wang’s chances of getting his E.R.A. under 10 this season.  These hotdogs were kept in an insulated “cooler” and came wrapped in foil, already in the bun.  The hotdogs, mine with ketchup, Keith’s with mustard, were just as delicious as last season and only cost $4.50.  Phew. First test passed. 

After only 1 and a 1/3 innings of good baseball, we set out to explore the stadium, and most importantly, to explore the food. The game was already over at this point. We went straight to the bleachers, which you now have access to.  One of the scariest parts about the new stadium is that every concession stand has the calorie count of every item offered. Who knew that a hot pretzel had over 600 calories?  The bleachers have concessions from Johnny Rockets, Moe’s Southwestern Grill, Familglia’s Pizza and the usual baseball fare.  We opted for a Johnny Rockets single cheeseburger (a double is over 1,000 calories!), a side of onion rings, and more beer.  We ate in a nice-sized standing area overlooking the outfield, watching our Yanks continue their downward spiral.  The burger, which came with lettuce, tomato and pickles, was good.  Not the best, but very respectable.  The onion rings were also good – greasy, but crispy, and not soggy at all. 
 
After laughing at some Mets fans, Keith and I moved on to discover a venerable food court on the lower level in left field.  I was overwhelmed with choices – Nathan’s, Arthur Avenue Deli, Boar’s Head sandwiches, Sushi, Noodles, Familglia’s pizza.  We decided to walk around, see our options and digest.  We happened upon a glass window with a butcher cutting raw beef.  We had heard about this! A Lobel’s butcher slices beef in a creepy, peep-show-like window (I was half expecting Madonna to start dancing behind the butcher), and then sells $15 sliced-steak sandwiches at a nearby stand.  We weren’t quite ready for a steak sandwich, so we went back towards the food court area.  It took me all of 3 minutes to decide that I was ready for dumplings.  The Noodle stand sells noodle bowls, egg rolls, and dumplings.  For $6, I got 4 boiled pork dumplings. Note: the stand has crusty-looking food in the display window, but you do not get that food when you order.  Depending on how you like your dumpling dough, you’ll either like or not like the ones offered here. It is a very doughy dumpling. I am obsessed with dumplings of all kinds so I was pleasantly surprised with the quality.  They did not skimp on the pork and the meat had good flavor.  
 
One of the great things about the new stadium is that you can order, eat your food and still watch the game at the same time.  You don’t have to go through a tunnel to get to the food and beer.  So we stood in left field for a bit watching the game and talking with fans that happened to be eating chicken sliders.  With their nod of approval, we went to the sliders station.  This stand had the option of beef sliders, chicken sliders and buffalo chicken sliders. You can get just 2 sliders, or 3 sliders and fries.  For some odd reason they were “out of” 2 sliders, but were able to give us the 3 chicken sliders with fries platter.  I argued, but they said that was the rules. I was annoyed at the logic, but not the result. We took the 3 chicken sliders with fries and got more beer.  The fries were crinkle cut, like Nathan’s, but not nearly as good and a bit soggy.  The chicken sliders were good, much like any elementary school fried chicken cutlet, but I wish they had come with cheese or mayo or something. I ended up putting a lot of ketchup on mine.
 
At that point, Keith was still talking about garlic fries, so we wandered back towards the first base/right field side (we had almost completed a full circle).  On the way, we happened upon the “farmers market” pictured here. 

This market basically consisted of a stand with fresh fruit – apples, pears, etc. It’s no Union Square, and certainly nothing we were remotely interested in eating that day.  So we moved on, passing Joba’s father on the way.  We were back by the garlic fries, Carl’s cheesesteaks, and the Latin corner.  A fellow fan said the cheesesteaks were really good.  I was very tempted, but very full.  While debating what our stomachs could handle, Keith dared me to get a sample of the garlic fries from the vendors.  No problem.  However, behind the counter stood a large clear bucket filled with oil and minced garlic.  It almost repulsed me enough to not actually try the fries.  But I went for it, and with my powers of persuasion, I convinced the vendor to give us a sample. We decided to get a full order for about $6.  The fries were much crispier then I expected – with all that oil, I was expecting them to be very soggy.  However, they were thin, crispy and not too greasy, but they were very garlicky. We couldn’t finish them, but agreed they were good.
 
At this point in the game (remember, we were there for baseball?), the Indians were beating the Yankees by about 3 touchdowns, so Keith and I decided to head to Tommy Bahamas’ Bar located on the second level in the Great Hall. Shots. We needed shots. A quick shot of Jameson led to a couple of more beers for me, and a Jack and Coke for Keith. He decided to step it up a notch.  Although you are not allowed to leave the bar area with liquor, we poured Keith’s drink into one of the many commemorative Yankee cups we had collected (I’m hoping to have a full beer pong set of cups before the all-star break), and headed back to our seats to watch the end of the game. Alcohol note: the bar only has Tommy Bahamas’ rum and the Beers of the World venue at the stadium isn’t open until next month.
 
We got back to our seats just in time to see the 8th and 9th innings. When our shellacking was official, we decided to head to the Hard Rock Café for a nightcap.  The bar at Hard Rock was way less packed then I expected, keeps normal restaurant hours, and has typical bar food.  We got more beer and decided to get an order of hot wings (choices: hot, very hot or bbq), we got hot. They were good – meaty enough and hot enough for me. We enjoyed. We finally left the stadium around 10pm, after almost 8 hours of eating and drinking. And went to another bar. Good day.
 
Sunday (Yankees v. Cleveland 7-3 win):
If you can believe it, Keith and I headed back up to the Bronx for more punishment the following morning.  I found Keith waiting for me at Hard Rock with a Bloody Mary and an empty plate of wings.  He was hurting.  We headed into the stadium through the Hard Rock (a nice feature) and set out to our seats in the bleachers.  The bleachers have far fewer vendors actually walking around in the seats selling food, but since you have access to the entire stadium now, it doesn’t really matter where you sit.  Sunday’s game was actually exciting, so we sat in the sun and actually enjoyed a little April baseball. After the fourth inning, we both decided that we had dropped the ball the day before by not trying the steak sandwich, so we headed straight to Lobel’s.  Even though they have a guy cutting the meat right at the stand, the sandwich we bought had been sitting for a while.  The cheese-crusted round roll was a little soggy, but the meat was tender, tasty and cooked medium.  The sandwich was very good, but it was very hard to justify spending $15 on it. $10, maybe.  We continued walking around a bit, contemplating pulled pork sandwiches from Brother Jimmy’s and eggplant parm heros.  I decided to get dumplings again (I have a problem).  Keith got a chocolate milk shake from Johnny Rockets.  My dumplings were the same as they were Saturday, so they were consistent.  Keith’s shake was so thick he could turn it upside down and nothing fell out. That’s how I like it and it was delicious. 
 
Our food adventure ended there – I think we both shot our proverbial wad the day before. But, we did get a chance to check out the museum at the stadium. Thurman Munson’s locker, a wall full of baseballs signed by everyone to ever wear pinstripes, and the most recent World Series trophies are the highlights.  The Yankees won Sunday’s game in dramatic fashion and we had a great weekend.  I was scheduled to go to Monday night’s game as well. But-for a rain out, I would have tried the sushi, the Brother Jimmy’s hushpuppies and either a Philly cheesesteak, or one of the sandwiches from the Arthur Avenue deli. Luckily for me, there are 77 more games played at home this year.

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